Joy

I have spent the past 3 days attempting to put into writing what is going on in this crazy mind of mine. 

I literally have 6 unpublished posts that I have started, but just can't bring myself to push the publish button for whatever reason.

So now, I am typing this to let you all know of my struggle.

I'm trying to return to my life here in the United States.  But it just feels so meaningless.  While I have grown up in this first world country my entire life, I feel like I am nothing but a stranger anymore.  I no longer need the American Dream of a large house with a white picket fence and the perfectly manicured yard.  (While much of our weekend was spent on installing a new fence in our backyard.)  I no longer need to have the latest and greatest phone or cupboards over flowing with processed food.  And some of these things I have been doing without for some time.

We live in a land of excess.  And while it was apparent to me before my trip to Africa, it is like strobe light that is never going to go off for me right now. 

We were sitting in the back seat of a car after just spending one of our most memorable days in Kenya.  We had painted, eaten an amazing meal in a mud home, and then had the honor to help mud a family's home in tiny remote village.  My 16 year old daughter looked at me and said, "Why do we have so much?"

I honestly didn't have a response, because I was asking that same question in my own mind.  We had just spent the past 8 hours with some of the most joyful people who in terms of our American minds have NOTHING.  They have no indoor plumbing, electricity, or mode of transportation.  They have lost a child due to sickness and they cook their meals off of 3 stones that are heated by the small fire built in the center of them.

And the joy that radiated from each of them was completely unexplainable.  Their life is hard.  They are planting a church in a predominately Muslim dominated village. Have been told they are not welcome in this town.  And  joy just permeated from them.

How can this be? So many may ask.  How could you possibly be joyful and happy when you have absolutely NOTHING. 

We have been asked.

"What on earth did that food taste like?" 
"How do they bathe?"
"What kind of flooring do they have?"
"Do they really just go to the bathroom wherever?"

All of these questions are good!  All of these questions were ones I asked before going there.  And honestly, I love to be able to answer the questions. 

But I realized that so many times many of my questions that I have about how others are living are fueled by my inability to imagine how someone could truly live without the things that I am so accustomed to using and still survive.  And then to be joyful on top of it.  It just didn't seem to be possible.  It is one thing to be without.  But to have joy amidst of it seemed so unimaginable.

In answer to the earlier question as to where their joy comes from Isaiah 61: 10-11 share a perfect example of where their joy comes from.

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
¹¹ For as the earth brings forth its bud,
As the garden causes the things that are sown in it to spring forth,
So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.

All of these questions are forth of all the nations.

I am challenged.  When one looks at me what do they see?  Do they see contentment and joyfulness?  Do they see resentment and frustration?  Can people walk away from me and say, "Wow! She has so much joy radiating from her?"

Living here in the United States we have so many distractions and so many false perceptions of what true joy is and where it can come from.  I want to have my eyes blinded by what society says.  And I pray that they are opened

I am humbled and challenged and want to be able to show and share the true and only joy that can come from knowing Jesus.  Our author and finisher of life.  The creator who came to give us the one and only true joy.

Will you join me?

The Start of a New Adventure

It has been almost one month since I felt the warmth of the African sun on my face.  One month since I saw the radiant smiles of my new found friends.  One month since I sat on the floor snuggling, hugging and blowing bubbles of children I would love to call my own.

 

 

Some say time heals all wounds.  However, I must say the more time that has passed since I had my feet in the red clay of Africa the harder my days have been.  This past week I have had more tears than I ever expected.  My heart has yearned to hear sweet little ones thanking Jesus for their food.  And as crazy as it may seem, it feels so odd to not bounce up and down the road on a typical journey to anywhere.  And it was just last week I looked at my husband & said I feel like a stranger in a place where I have spent my entire life.

 

 

Some would say it was only 25 days.  But those 25 days were days that have totally rocked my world.  It has taken me 25 days to just be able to sit down at a computer screen and attempt to put into words what took place and what continues to take place in this heart of mine.  Many of you were able to keep in touch with us along our journey to Africa via our private Facebook page.  We attempted to highlight our daily occurrences mainly to check in and let those of you back in the states who were family & supporters know we were still alive.  Kidding!  I'm only kidding.   It is my prayer that I will be able to use this blog to go in further detail about our trip and how God is moving in our lives now that we are back into the routine of life in the US.

 

 

But it is now that we are back that I feel like the real journey begins.  We were told that upon our return our life would never be the same.  Much like at the beginning of our African Adventure I had no idea what to expect.  And quite honestly, I still have no idea what to expect.  But I would love for you to join me as I process through this transition of seeing what the majority of the world lives like and what I am going to do with the life I have here to use it for God's Glory.  If you would like to travel down this path with me, continue to follow this blog & watch for updates. 

~Misti~

Ancient Words

Have you ever heard the phrase "You can't take it with you when you're gone."?  I'm sure you have.  I have been guilty of saying it a few times and there are a few times I need to remind myself of that.

This summer our family has experienced a great loss.  My husband's Grandmother of 91 years passed on to see Jesus in June.  Obviously, Gran had lived a very full life.  Anyone in their 90's has seen so much.  But I have to be honest, nothing could have prepared me for her final days of life.

Martha Elizabeth (Nesbit) Barnhart was born July 22, 1921 in Eleanor, PA.  You can read more about her life and what kind of impact she had on my sister-in-law here.

I have been blessed to know this lady for what feels like my entire life.  When I was a child, she attended the church where my grandfather was a pastor.  Later in life, I had the honor of marrying her grandson and so she just kind of became my Gran as well.  Gran never knew a stranger and no matter what she had going on in her life she had all the time in the world for you to come and visit.  I can never think of a time when she was too busy to talk.  I could list thousands of memories that I have of this beautiful woman (and some day I may share them.)  But right now I need to focus on the final days of her life.  

You see, Martha, suffered from dementia the past few years of her life.  Watching a loved one's memory begin to slip is a journey like no other.  I would be lying if I didn't say there were nights my husband and I would cry out to the Lord to just take her home.  We thought we knew what was best for her.  But she continued to hang on.  She continued say silly things like "Onion Ice Cream, YUCK!"  Or worry about how she was going to pay for the dinner bill when it had already been taken care of.  Or that she couldn't have a roll with dinner on a Sunday, because she didn't eat bread on Sunday's.

And then the afternoon came when we got the telephone call came that Hospice had requested that the family come.  She appeared to be in her final hours of life.  We prepared our children and our oldest daughter decided she wanted to come along with us.  And so we went.   We held her hands.  We rubbed her legs.  We prayed with her.  We sang to her.  We shared memories.  And we did this D-A-I-L-Y for 2 weeks solid.  

During those two weeks we saw 5 of her 7 great grandchildren (the other 2 were too young & lived 1 hour away) stand around her bed and sing Chris Tomlin's "Amazing Grace" and "Jesus Loves Me".  During those two weeks countless memories of the little things Gran would do and how they had so much more of an impact than we ever gave credit for were shared.  During those two weeks we bonded as a family in ways that we never would have with our "busy" life schedules.  During those two weeks we learned that God's perspective of time is NOTHING compared to what we think it is on this earth.  

~But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.~ 2 Peter 3:8

But the very most important thing that happened in that 2 weeks was we were able to read from Gran's Bible.  And we were able to read God's Word to her.  But through opening the pages of her Bible she was able to speak to each and every one of us.  

Gran didn't just open her Bible, read it, close it up & put it away for the day.  She lived it.  She marked it up and it is the greatest treasure that she could have given any of us, next to all of her prayers for each of her family member's salvation.  There wasn't a single page in her Bible that didn't have some marking on.  In fact, good luck finding something that wasn't marked or noted.  She listed grandchildren and great grandchildren's birth dates.  She put the date & name of times when she talked about a particular scripture with you.  You could almost always remember the conversation when you saw your name & date written by a specific verse.

In a day and age of technology we are losing some of the greatest Earthly treasures that we can leave for our family.  Sure I use my online Bible on my iPad.  In fact, I love it.  However, if that is the only thing I am using will my children or their children ever see the impact that The Word of God has on my life?  Will they ever see my handwriting and be able to hear me speak to them through The Word that will last forever?  

Gran knew The Creator of all.  Gran knew what was most important.  And she left for all of us the one and only thing that will withstand all of eternity and that is The Word of God.

There is no greater legacy.  There is no greater gift.

~For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.~ Hewbrews 4:12

Election Day

Happy Election Day!

Being 2 years short of being able to vote, I'm obviously not going to be able to cast my vote this year. (Watch out for next election though!)

This post is not to bash either one of the main candidates running for president. And unless you live under a rock, you'll know their names are Mr. Barack Obama and Mr. Mitt Romney.

While there are many issues at hand that I could write about, I feel my heart being burdened with one particular matter.

Abortion.

Pardon my brashness.

Teenagers, young adults, people in general are going to have premarital, unprotected sex. There is no way around it. If you haven't noticed, it's very rare to come across a person who hasn't had premarital sex, or isn't sexually active whatsoever, outside the bonds of marriage.

What bothers me more than the fact that people are abusing a gift that God gave to us for marriage, is the shear fact that girls my age believe that contraceptives such as "The Morning After Pill" and abortions are completely acceptable.

Did you know that in some states (New York, California, Illinois, Washington DC, & NJ) a girl can schedule an appointment for an abortion without any parental consent? You can also completely bypass parental consent in any state given by going to court and asking a judge to excuse you from requirements. Don't believe me?; http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/parental-consent-notification-laws-25268.htm.

Wake up, America.

If you think you are old enough to be having sex, take into consideration that you could create life. This isn't a difficult concept. I feel as though my generation has completely demolished any value of human life that we had before.

A child is created at conception. A human. A baby. A heartbeat. Do not sit there and tell me that it's just a "Embryo, or a Zygote" or just a "Fetus". It's not scientific term, it's a heartbeat. A living being who has a life and a purpose.

Before we were born, God created our lives out. Whether or not you love your child, He does. There's a family out there that will take care and nurture your child if you feel as though you can't. My generation has been brainwashed into a selfish mindset. That if they give birth to this child, THEIR lives will end. Their dreams & hopes are crushed. Did you ever take into consideration the life of your child?

In Jeremiah 1:5 God says this:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” 

Before he formed us in the womb! He knew us! He appoints us, and gives us life.

Psalms 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.


What did Psalms just tell us? Children are a heritage from God himself. They're a reward. 

I'd like you all to consider who you're voting for. What they stand for, and if you truly believe that that person will change this economy. That may mean voting for principal, and not for the lesser of two evils. 

Our country is murdering innocent children. My heart aches for the lost souls who believe this is acceptable, and for the children who had no say. God wants us to be the voice for the ones who have none. I would be a coward if I didn't stand for what's true. 

Pray for our country and it's leaders. We're a fallen world and desperately need to turn to our Creator in times like these. 

-Hayley 

Why We Love

For those of you who actually read about our interesting life, I apologize for the time that has went between postings.

I have many things I would like to blog about, but really want to finish up the recap of our trip to South Dakota.  While we traveled way back in July (over 2 months ago) many of our experiences are still alive in my mind and life.

If you would like to catch up on where I was at in this journey you click on the following links:

It started as an early morning.
We finished up day 1 here.
I shared about some of the scenery & how it spoke to me here.
And you can see some of the storms we encountered here.
I talked about my first Native introductions here.
And reflected on where I would be today which was sparked on from a visit to Oyate Concern.

And if you are still with me and don't need to lay down for a nap (something I could do at any moment).  We will pick right up where I left off on our Wednesday of our trip.

Despite having a raging headache and an upset stomach, I made it through the morning with our meeting with the EDA (Economic Development Agency.)  The meeting went well and it was so impressive to see how God used Dave to get Phil and I in touch with people we would have never been able to meet on our own.

I learned something today.  While some white people are dreamers we have nothing on the Native people.  While Phil and I presented some ideas of what we were trying to get information on as far as the needs in Pine Ridge for industry.  Almost immediately, you would see the gears start turning and the light bulbs begin to brighten as they shared ideas on ways to bring jobs to the community.

It was a nice meeting and Phil and I had many questions answered, which in turn led to us leaving with even more questions.  I guess that is just how it is sometimes when you begin to start something from the ground up.

The following day we were able to all travel together to The Re*Creation center in Olgala.  Eric Sutton is a no frills kind of guy and what he and his team have been able to do in the community they are in is simply beautiful.

Re*Creation Center is a BRIGHT light in such a dark dark community.  They are a safe place for anyone who wants to come, especially children.  The people who are a part of Re*Creation live right on location.  Which means help is always available 24 hours a day.  During the summer they have groups that come in and want to do community service projects.  The center NEVER tells them what to do, and Eric was able to share some really cool things that took place this summer.

• One group provided family portraits.  
• Another group of people came in and taught some skills such as knitting and crocheting.  The cool thing that took place because of this, is the Native's were able to teach the knitters their skill of beading.  What an amazing way to bond and build relationships.
• They were blessed with a brand new playground two weeks prior to our visit. 
• While we were there a group was building a deck on the building.
• Another church was hosting a basketball camp.

Re read the last paragraph I just wrote.  When groups of people call to volunteer their time at Re*Creation Center, Eric NEVER gives them a specific task to do.  Why?  Because God has equipped each and everyone of us with our own special talents and desires.  Each and everyone of us can reach out and do something for others in order to show Christ's Love.  The question is are you doing it?

So many people make excuses or don't feel like they are "adequate" enough to do God's will.  That is such a lie from Satan himself.  God has created each individual with their own unique talents and interests.  Why?  So that we can give Him the Glory & Honor he deserves.

What can you do today with what God has equipped you with, to show someone else that God Loves Them?

I will finish up this post with some photos from how we finished up our day at Re*Creation.  Before Phil and I left for South Dakota, my children wanted to do something for the children there.  They decided to make Warrior Bands that I could pass out to other children.  The day before I left we decided to put a scripture card on them.  We weren't sure what scripture we wanted to put on them and at the very last minute they decided on 1 John 4:19.  It is quite simple, but was the PERFECT way for me to share a bit of God's Love from my children with these children of South Dakota.  In fact, each and every child had the warrior band placed on their wrist by me.  And while they were getting them on, I was able to tell them that

"We love them, because He first loved us"

Go spread some love!

Where Would We Be?

The big yellow bus pulled up filled to overflowing.  And that is when it happened.  A young boy, Nathan's age, tapped my arm.  "Can we go and play?" he asked.

As I fought through tears I explained not right now.  He seemed to be okay.  And then he was back, "Can we go play?" I told him we could go inside to hear the stories and watch a play.  I would go with him and sit beside him if he would like.  He declined, went through the door and found his seat.

A young boy, with a water bottle filled with cereal hops off the bus "drinking" the dried cereal from his bottle.

A 13 year old girl with a smile and a heart that would light up any room.  So so sweet, such a joker.  When I introduced myself I was told, "Yea I know who you are." (My name was in the shirt I was wearing.)

A young mother, pregnant with her 5th child.  May 21st her brother passed away from diabetes.  3 weeks later her mother died from slcerosis.

"If you are going to truly make an impact, start as young as you can." Wise advice shared by someone who has invested in this community for ten plus years.

This Tuesday evening was like none other for me.  It is the point where my heart broke.  As I stood over looking the plains of South Dakota and the took in the views of the Oglala region thoughts of breaking generational behaviors flooded my emotions.

There is an entire generation being left to raise themselves just like their parents.  Alcoholism is rampant.  The feeling of hopelessness is all around which leads to unbelievable rate of suicide.  Cutting, abuse both physically and mentally....you name it.  It is there. Only on a much higher scale.

Where would I be without a faithful mother who stood firm on the truths of the Bible?  Would I be just another statistic?  Where would I be without the love and forgiveness of my Heavenly Father?  Where would I be?

These children need to know there is a better way.  These children need to know what true and genuine love looks and feels like.  These children need to know that they can be the ones who make the change.

But how will they know if there isn't someone there who can show them.  How will they know there is another way if all they see is hopelessness and despair?

What are we doing to show these precious little ones there is another way?  This is happening right before our very eyes.  People and children are suffering all over the world, but this is happening right here.  In the home of the free and the brave.  This is happening where you have every opportunity you can imagine.

Even in Pine Ridge South Dakota on the reservation there are church buildings that are erected all around.  But is the church truly doing what is commanded of them?  Are we so blinded by our every day comings and goings that we stop to truly see the need that has surrounded us?

Where would we be if someone hadn't care?  Where would I be if someone hadn't prayed?  Where will they be if we refuse to be the ones who care, pray and show them not only our love, but most importantly the Love of Christ?

Rob & Kathi Dyer, Tyler & Ayren Dykstra THANK YOU for being obedient to call God placed before you.  THANK YOU for not turning a blind eye and showing the love of Christ to so many who desperately need it!

God Bless!

~Misti~

New Introductions

This is part of a multi-part set of postings that I am going to be sharing about the trip to South Dakota that Phil & I were blessed to take.

Day 3

Today was very good.  Phil and I had the opportunity to travel alone with Dave.  We (I) woke at 5am AGAIN.  At 8 we meandered to Dave's and he took us through his field and around the dirt roads of Nebraska to Pine Ridge to meet Bamm.

Yes, those are cows you see.  We drove right through the fields on the roads Dave made to keep track of his cattle he raises.

Before we got to Bamm's home we stopped at Big Bats the local convenience store.  For the first time in my life I realized what it was like to be a minority.  I felt very uncomfortable for a moment, while there was really no reason to.  I just have never been one of the only "white" people in an environment.  And once again, a teachable moment arose and I (thankfully) was able to recognize it.

I have always taught my children that people are people.  God doesn't see color, race, wealth, etc etc.  We all bleed red, is something that has been used before in our household.  And so it was time for me to truly live out what I have taught my children.  All I could think of were the lyrics from "Jesus Friend of Sinners" by Casting Crowns.

Jesus, friend of sinners

Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers

Let our hearts be led by mercy

Help us reach with open hearts and open doors

Oh Jesus, Friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours 

The very next segment of lyrics that ran through my head were from Brandon Heath "Give Me Your Eyes"

Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken hearted

Ones that are far beyond my reach

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see

And that was all I needed.  To take the focus off myself and onto everyone else and to truly have the desire to see them the way God sees them.  I am so glad that I can honestly say that was the ONLY time I truly felt that way which became the start of meeting some remarkable people.

We traveled up the road to Bamm's home where we were greeted by Mrs. Doubtfire, a vicious chihuahua.  (Well, I guess vicious wasn't really the word I should use for her.)  She wanted us to believe she was vicious.  

Bamm immediately welcomed us and I took my spot on the couch under one of the largest mounted Buffalo heads I have ever seen.  Bamm shared his life story and truly showed us his ingenious, never give up attitude.  He is a true diamond on Pine Ridge Reservation.  

As Phil and I talked with him about needs among the Lakota people Bamm shared, "There are some of us who really want to work."

I totally admired his passion to show the Youth of the Lakota Tribe there is a better life and they can do something with themselves.

We had a rich time of exchanging gifts with one another and he brought out The Crazy Horse Staff he uses when he leads The Crazy Horse Ride.  It was such a breath of fresh air to see someone take such initiative and have a vision to truly make life on the reservation a positive experience for The Lakota people.

We didn't want to keep him too long.  He had a swimming pool/slide to set up that was donated.  He has a beautiful piece of property where he encourages youth to come and hang out whether it is cooling off on a 100 degree day with his swimming pool & slide or camping & riding horses.

So we loaded back into the Hunter Green Chevy Blazer & road tripped back to Nebraska to meet up with the rest of our crew. 

That night Phil and I were able to thank Creator for the new friend and contact that he brought into our path.

Thank you, Bamm Brewer, for opening your home & sharing your heart with us.  We look forward to continuing to get to know you.

~Misti~