Joy

I have spent the past 3 days attempting to put into writing what is going on in this crazy mind of mine. 

I literally have 6 unpublished posts that I have started, but just can't bring myself to push the publish button for whatever reason.

So now, I am typing this to let you all know of my struggle.

I'm trying to return to my life here in the United States.  But it just feels so meaningless.  While I have grown up in this first world country my entire life, I feel like I am nothing but a stranger anymore.  I no longer need the American Dream of a large house with a white picket fence and the perfectly manicured yard.  (While much of our weekend was spent on installing a new fence in our backyard.)  I no longer need to have the latest and greatest phone or cupboards over flowing with processed food.  And some of these things I have been doing without for some time.

We live in a land of excess.  And while it was apparent to me before my trip to Africa, it is like strobe light that is never going to go off for me right now. 

We were sitting in the back seat of a car after just spending one of our most memorable days in Kenya.  We had painted, eaten an amazing meal in a mud home, and then had the honor to help mud a family's home in tiny remote village.  My 16 year old daughter looked at me and said, "Why do we have so much?"

I honestly didn't have a response, because I was asking that same question in my own mind.  We had just spent the past 8 hours with some of the most joyful people who in terms of our American minds have NOTHING.  They have no indoor plumbing, electricity, or mode of transportation.  They have lost a child due to sickness and they cook their meals off of 3 stones that are heated by the small fire built in the center of them.

And the joy that radiated from each of them was completely unexplainable.  Their life is hard.  They are planting a church in a predominately Muslim dominated village. Have been told they are not welcome in this town.  And  joy just permeated from them.

How can this be? So many may ask.  How could you possibly be joyful and happy when you have absolutely NOTHING. 

We have been asked.

"What on earth did that food taste like?" 
"How do they bathe?"
"What kind of flooring do they have?"
"Do they really just go to the bathroom wherever?"

All of these questions are good!  All of these questions were ones I asked before going there.  And honestly, I love to be able to answer the questions. 

But I realized that so many times many of my questions that I have about how others are living are fueled by my inability to imagine how someone could truly live without the things that I am so accustomed to using and still survive.  And then to be joyful on top of it.  It just didn't seem to be possible.  It is one thing to be without.  But to have joy amidst of it seemed so unimaginable.

In answer to the earlier question as to where their joy comes from Isaiah 61: 10-11 share a perfect example of where their joy comes from.

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
¹¹ For as the earth brings forth its bud,
As the garden causes the things that are sown in it to spring forth,
So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.

All of these questions are forth of all the nations.

I am challenged.  When one looks at me what do they see?  Do they see contentment and joyfulness?  Do they see resentment and frustration?  Can people walk away from me and say, "Wow! She has so much joy radiating from her?"

Living here in the United States we have so many distractions and so many false perceptions of what true joy is and where it can come from.  I want to have my eyes blinded by what society says.  And I pray that they are opened

I am humbled and challenged and want to be able to show and share the true and only joy that can come from knowing Jesus.  Our author and finisher of life.  The creator who came to give us the one and only true joy.

Will you join me?

The Start of a New Adventure

It has been almost one month since I felt the warmth of the African sun on my face.  One month since I saw the radiant smiles of my new found friends.  One month since I sat on the floor snuggling, hugging and blowing bubbles of children I would love to call my own.

 

 

Some say time heals all wounds.  However, I must say the more time that has passed since I had my feet in the red clay of Africa the harder my days have been.  This past week I have had more tears than I ever expected.  My heart has yearned to hear sweet little ones thanking Jesus for their food.  And as crazy as it may seem, it feels so odd to not bounce up and down the road on a typical journey to anywhere.  And it was just last week I looked at my husband & said I feel like a stranger in a place where I have spent my entire life.

 

 

Some would say it was only 25 days.  But those 25 days were days that have totally rocked my world.  It has taken me 25 days to just be able to sit down at a computer screen and attempt to put into words what took place and what continues to take place in this heart of mine.  Many of you were able to keep in touch with us along our journey to Africa via our private Facebook page.  We attempted to highlight our daily occurrences mainly to check in and let those of you back in the states who were family & supporters know we were still alive.  Kidding!  I'm only kidding.   It is my prayer that I will be able to use this blog to go in further detail about our trip and how God is moving in our lives now that we are back into the routine of life in the US.

 

 

But it is now that we are back that I feel like the real journey begins.  We were told that upon our return our life would never be the same.  Much like at the beginning of our African Adventure I had no idea what to expect.  And quite honestly, I still have no idea what to expect.  But I would love for you to join me as I process through this transition of seeing what the majority of the world lives like and what I am going to do with the life I have here to use it for God's Glory.  If you would like to travel down this path with me, continue to follow this blog & watch for updates. 

~Misti~