Joy

I have spent the past 3 days attempting to put into writing what is going on in this crazy mind of mine. 

I literally have 6 unpublished posts that I have started, but just can't bring myself to push the publish button for whatever reason.

So now, I am typing this to let you all know of my struggle.

I'm trying to return to my life here in the United States.  But it just feels so meaningless.  While I have grown up in this first world country my entire life, I feel like I am nothing but a stranger anymore.  I no longer need the American Dream of a large house with a white picket fence and the perfectly manicured yard.  (While much of our weekend was spent on installing a new fence in our backyard.)  I no longer need to have the latest and greatest phone or cupboards over flowing with processed food.  And some of these things I have been doing without for some time.

We live in a land of excess.  And while it was apparent to me before my trip to Africa, it is like strobe light that is never going to go off for me right now. 

We were sitting in the back seat of a car after just spending one of our most memorable days in Kenya.  We had painted, eaten an amazing meal in a mud home, and then had the honor to help mud a family's home in tiny remote village.  My 16 year old daughter looked at me and said, "Why do we have so much?"

I honestly didn't have a response, because I was asking that same question in my own mind.  We had just spent the past 8 hours with some of the most joyful people who in terms of our American minds have NOTHING.  They have no indoor plumbing, electricity, or mode of transportation.  They have lost a child due to sickness and they cook their meals off of 3 stones that are heated by the small fire built in the center of them.

And the joy that radiated from each of them was completely unexplainable.  Their life is hard.  They are planting a church in a predominately Muslim dominated village. Have been told they are not welcome in this town.  And  joy just permeated from them.

How can this be? So many may ask.  How could you possibly be joyful and happy when you have absolutely NOTHING. 

We have been asked.

"What on earth did that food taste like?" 
"How do they bathe?"
"What kind of flooring do they have?"
"Do they really just go to the bathroom wherever?"

All of these questions are good!  All of these questions were ones I asked before going there.  And honestly, I love to be able to answer the questions. 

But I realized that so many times many of my questions that I have about how others are living are fueled by my inability to imagine how someone could truly live without the things that I am so accustomed to using and still survive.  And then to be joyful on top of it.  It just didn't seem to be possible.  It is one thing to be without.  But to have joy amidst of it seemed so unimaginable.

In answer to the earlier question as to where their joy comes from Isaiah 61: 10-11 share a perfect example of where their joy comes from.

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
¹¹ For as the earth brings forth its bud,
As the garden causes the things that are sown in it to spring forth,
So the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.

All of these questions are forth of all the nations.

I am challenged.  When one looks at me what do they see?  Do they see contentment and joyfulness?  Do they see resentment and frustration?  Can people walk away from me and say, "Wow! She has so much joy radiating from her?"

Living here in the United States we have so many distractions and so many false perceptions of what true joy is and where it can come from.  I want to have my eyes blinded by what society says.  And I pray that they are opened

I am humbled and challenged and want to be able to show and share the true and only joy that can come from knowing Jesus.  Our author and finisher of life.  The creator who came to give us the one and only true joy.

Will you join me?

The Start of a New Adventure

It has been almost one month since I felt the warmth of the African sun on my face.  One month since I saw the radiant smiles of my new found friends.  One month since I sat on the floor snuggling, hugging and blowing bubbles of children I would love to call my own.

 

 

Some say time heals all wounds.  However, I must say the more time that has passed since I had my feet in the red clay of Africa the harder my days have been.  This past week I have had more tears than I ever expected.  My heart has yearned to hear sweet little ones thanking Jesus for their food.  And as crazy as it may seem, it feels so odd to not bounce up and down the road on a typical journey to anywhere.  And it was just last week I looked at my husband & said I feel like a stranger in a place where I have spent my entire life.

 

 

Some would say it was only 25 days.  But those 25 days were days that have totally rocked my world.  It has taken me 25 days to just be able to sit down at a computer screen and attempt to put into words what took place and what continues to take place in this heart of mine.  Many of you were able to keep in touch with us along our journey to Africa via our private Facebook page.  We attempted to highlight our daily occurrences mainly to check in and let those of you back in the states who were family & supporters know we were still alive.  Kidding!  I'm only kidding.   It is my prayer that I will be able to use this blog to go in further detail about our trip and how God is moving in our lives now that we are back into the routine of life in the US.

 

 

But it is now that we are back that I feel like the real journey begins.  We were told that upon our return our life would never be the same.  Much like at the beginning of our African Adventure I had no idea what to expect.  And quite honestly, I still have no idea what to expect.  But I would love for you to join me as I process through this transition of seeing what the majority of the world lives like and what I am going to do with the life I have here to use it for God's Glory.  If you would like to travel down this path with me, continue to follow this blog & watch for updates. 

~Misti~

Ancient Words

Have you ever heard the phrase "You can't take it with you when you're gone."?  I'm sure you have.  I have been guilty of saying it a few times and there are a few times I need to remind myself of that.

This summer our family has experienced a great loss.  My husband's Grandmother of 91 years passed on to see Jesus in June.  Obviously, Gran had lived a very full life.  Anyone in their 90's has seen so much.  But I have to be honest, nothing could have prepared me for her final days of life.

Martha Elizabeth (Nesbit) Barnhart was born July 22, 1921 in Eleanor, PA.  You can read more about her life and what kind of impact she had on my sister-in-law here.

I have been blessed to know this lady for what feels like my entire life.  When I was a child, she attended the church where my grandfather was a pastor.  Later in life, I had the honor of marrying her grandson and so she just kind of became my Gran as well.  Gran never knew a stranger and no matter what she had going on in her life she had all the time in the world for you to come and visit.  I can never think of a time when she was too busy to talk.  I could list thousands of memories that I have of this beautiful woman (and some day I may share them.)  But right now I need to focus on the final days of her life.  

You see, Martha, suffered from dementia the past few years of her life.  Watching a loved one's memory begin to slip is a journey like no other.  I would be lying if I didn't say there were nights my husband and I would cry out to the Lord to just take her home.  We thought we knew what was best for her.  But she continued to hang on.  She continued say silly things like "Onion Ice Cream, YUCK!"  Or worry about how she was going to pay for the dinner bill when it had already been taken care of.  Or that she couldn't have a roll with dinner on a Sunday, because she didn't eat bread on Sunday's.

And then the afternoon came when we got the telephone call came that Hospice had requested that the family come.  She appeared to be in her final hours of life.  We prepared our children and our oldest daughter decided she wanted to come along with us.  And so we went.   We held her hands.  We rubbed her legs.  We prayed with her.  We sang to her.  We shared memories.  And we did this D-A-I-L-Y for 2 weeks solid.  

During those two weeks we saw 5 of her 7 great grandchildren (the other 2 were too young & lived 1 hour away) stand around her bed and sing Chris Tomlin's "Amazing Grace" and "Jesus Loves Me".  During those two weeks countless memories of the little things Gran would do and how they had so much more of an impact than we ever gave credit for were shared.  During those two weeks we bonded as a family in ways that we never would have with our "busy" life schedules.  During those two weeks we learned that God's perspective of time is NOTHING compared to what we think it is on this earth.  

~But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.~ 2 Peter 3:8

But the very most important thing that happened in that 2 weeks was we were able to read from Gran's Bible.  And we were able to read God's Word to her.  But through opening the pages of her Bible she was able to speak to each and every one of us.  

Gran didn't just open her Bible, read it, close it up & put it away for the day.  She lived it.  She marked it up and it is the greatest treasure that she could have given any of us, next to all of her prayers for each of her family member's salvation.  There wasn't a single page in her Bible that didn't have some marking on.  In fact, good luck finding something that wasn't marked or noted.  She listed grandchildren and great grandchildren's birth dates.  She put the date & name of times when she talked about a particular scripture with you.  You could almost always remember the conversation when you saw your name & date written by a specific verse.

In a day and age of technology we are losing some of the greatest Earthly treasures that we can leave for our family.  Sure I use my online Bible on my iPad.  In fact, I love it.  However, if that is the only thing I am using will my children or their children ever see the impact that The Word of God has on my life?  Will they ever see my handwriting and be able to hear me speak to them through The Word that will last forever?  

Gran knew The Creator of all.  Gran knew what was most important.  And she left for all of us the one and only thing that will withstand all of eternity and that is The Word of God.

There is no greater legacy.  There is no greater gift.

~For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.~ Hewbrews 4:12