Shut up, Hayley.

I hate this whole "diary" or "journal entry" idea for a blog; because I don't necessarily like getting personal with people, but once again I feel like I need to share what God has laid upon my heart. 

It's amazing how much God can teach you in the matter of a few weeks.

I don't think I've ever had so many emotions run through me in such a short period of time. I was happy. Then I was devastated & cried more than I thought was possible. Hopeful. Then nerves kicked in. I got anxious. Devastated (again) and discouraged beyond belief. 

Now? I'm content. At peace, and at ease. 

I hate it when things don't go my way. It's irritating. 

Oh, but that's the selfish human coming out in me again. Oops. 

I can't control what God has in store for me. I can't. No matter how hard I try and no matter how much I want something...God might not want me to have it. He might have another plan for me; whether or not I like it. 

I called a friend of mine the other day because I missed his voice and I needed someone to talk to. He asked me a a question; 


"Do you know more than God?"


For some reason that question struck me. Who do I think I am to get upset about something I can't control? I obviously don't know what He's doing but His plan is always perfect and right. His second question was even better. 


"Do you believe God knows what He's doing?" 


Yeah, I do. I'm so dumb. Absolutely stupid. I can't control His plan for my life. I believe God knows what He's doing so I just gotta stop getting so worked up over something I can't control!


What I know now is that God didn't want me to play hockey this year. Sure, it hurts & it sucks and I think it's completely unfair that I don't get to play, but I'm not going to sit and pout about it. 

Maybe it's time I started focusing more on Christ instead of hockey. Over the past 2 years I've spent my entire life on hockey, and that's wrong! Jesus needs to be the center of everything I do. 


I'm not sure what God has in store for me for the future, but I'm thanking Him for opening up my eyes & realizing that I just need to shut up and let Him work His stuff. 

I'm pretty thankful for my amazing family & friends who have been supportive of my crappy attitude lately. You guys are the best. 

 Psalm 64:10 -"The righteous shall be glad in the LORD, and shall trust in him; and all the upright in heart shall glory"

-Hayley