This will be my 4th full day at Topsail Island, NC. This vacation has been amazing, and I'm enjoying every moment I spend with my family. I've made so many memories and I don't want this week to end. 

I feel as though God has really been speaking to me while I've been here. I've had time to reflect on a lot of different things in my life. I've been able to just take a walk on the beach and pray without any interruptions, and it's been absolutely lovely! Of course, God hasn't revealed all the answers to my questions and He won't until the time is right, but being here has made me realize a few things. 

1.) I need to learn some more patience. I'm constantly wanting answers and conclusions. I struggle with getting upset because I'm not sure what to do, and I need to realize that God is in control & I am not. I not only need patience in that aspect, but just patience in general. When Nathan asks me a question (what seems like 5,000 times) I need to stop & take a deep breath before yelling at him to stop asking me stupid questions. :) 

2.) I need to stop getting so stressed out! Yes, high school is unbelievably overwhelming, but I'm glad that I am doing this hard work now...that way college will be a breeze. This stress thing, goes back to patience. Whenever I get stressed, I lose all sense of patience. I get irritated, and anything somebody says will set me off...even if they didn't say anything wrong. My mom and I have been struggling with trying not to get upset at one another while I've been adjusting to this year's school.

3.) I'm a role model. Even in some of the smallest decisions (such as what type of cereal I'm going to eat this morning, or what color I'm going to paint my toes) in my life, I influence my siblings &  younger cousins. I've realized this week that they look up to me now more than ever! I want and need to teach them about Christ. More than that, I need to be a Godly and Christ-like figure in their precious lives.

4.) God has ALWAYS been there for me. Always. He has provided me with everything that I've needed, all the people I have needed, and blessed me beyond imagination. It baffles me to think that the God who created the universe sent His only beautiful & perfect son to die for a disgusting person like me. 

I had a late night conversation last night with one of my favorite people in the entire world. I couldn't sleep. It was about 11 o' clock, so I texted her. She told me to call her & we talked for 3 & a half hours. 

In this conversation she just gave me a little reminder that I needed. She said, 

"Do you realize that before God even created the universe He had a specific plan for your life. He knows exactly what is going to happen & has every single little detail planned out." 

Even before He created this big ole' world He had ME in mind! I need to remind myself of this whenever I start to feel like I'm unimportant, like I don't have a purpose. When I get frustrated at life that I just don't feel like trying anymore. Christ came and died for me. Someone loved ME enough to go have nails crushed into his wrists and feet...to suffer on a cross for a sinner like ME.

That's more than enough. 

It's Wednesday & I'm far away from my youth group back home. I miss everyone so much. 

It's time to go make more memories. Laugh. Smile. Sing. And fall more in love with my family than I already am.

^{Romans 8:28-} And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.